women as human

Women as Humans

As women, when we are children we are taught to enter the world with big hearts. Blooming hearts! Hearts bigger than our damn fists. We are taught to forgive- constantly- as opposed to what young boys are taught: renenge- to get even. Our empathy is constantly made appeals to, often demanded for. If we refuse to show kindness, we are reprimanded. We are not good women if we don’t crush our bones to make more space for the world, if we don’t spread our skin over rocks for others to tread, if we don’t kill ourselves in every meaning of the world in the process of making it cozy for everyone else. It is the heat generated by the heat of our bodies with which the world keeps warm. We are taught to sacrifice so much for so little. This is the general principle all over the world.
By the time we are young, we are tired. Most of us is drained. Some of us enter the lock of silence because of that lethargy. Some of us lash out. When i think of that big, blooming heart we once had, it looks displeased shriveled and worn out. We rarely teach our girls to fight back for the right reasons.
Take up more space as a woman! Take up more time. Take your time. You are taught to censor, hide, move about without messing up decorum of a man’s comfort. Whether said or not, you are taught to balance. Forget that! , destroy, disappoint! Mess up and that’s totally fine. You are learning to unlearn. Do not see yourself as a glass like you could get dirty and clean. You are flesh, you are not constant. You change, society teaches women to keep balance and that robs you of your volatility. Your mercurial hearts! Calm and chaos. Love only when needed, preserve otherwise! Do not be a moth near light, be the light itself. Do not let a man’s ocean-big ego swallow you up. Know what you want. Ask yourself first. Know your pace. Decide your own path. Be cruel when needed. Collapse and then re-construct.
When someone says you are being obscene, say yes, i take pride. When they say you are being wrong, say yes, i am!. When they say you are being selfish, say it is perfectly okay. Why shouldn’t you be! How do you expect a woman to stand on her two feet if you keep striking at her ankles. There are multiple lessons we must teach our young girls so that render themselves their own pillars instead of keeping male approval as the focal point of their lives. It is so important to state your feelings of inconvenience as a woman.
Women are instructed to tailor themselves and their discomfort – constantly told that what they are ‘whining’ and ‘nagging’ and ‘complaining’ too much. That kind of silence is horribly violent, that kind of insistence upon uniformly nodding in agreement to your own despair and smiling emptily so no man is ever uncomfortable around you. Male entitlement dictates a woman’s silence. If we could see the mimetic model of erasure of a woman’s voice, it would be an incredibly bloody sight.

Asu Malik

Asu Malik


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Very well said Asu.


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