Gender War

Feminism: it’s not a gender war!!

As ironic it may sound, I have been fighting my own little gender war since eternity. My name is Shuja, yeah, *laughs* the masculine name. I hated it in childhood, I wanted to have a girly name, but now I love it, Shuja means brave, and a girl is as brave as a boy, so why is it masculine?

“Feminism”, the word which is always in buzz, for both good as well as bad reasons. The more I hear or ponder upon this word, the more it becomes clear to me. Amid technological advancement and economic development, the word “Feminism” is still looked upon as a sexist weapon, Utopian idea, or even worse – a gender war! Girls who talk about feminism are labelled as “Man Hater” and if boys talk about it, they are labelled as, well yes “Gays”. Who has raised this iron blanket between the genders? When the whole issue is about just simply being a human. Period. Thus, providing awareness and platform to give this word its true meaning is more important than ever.

Fortunately, it is none of the above. Thankfully, most of us believe that it is all about “Gender Equality”, but I refuse to believe in it either. With all that I have read and experienced about the same, I believe it is more about the “Gender Equity”

Feminism is as simple and humane as to provide equal access to the rights and opportunities to both men and women, and let talent and merit do the talking. Why the society has to be skeptical before even a girl asks for these right. Imagine these three scenarios which are simple and any human is supposed to have equal right to make his or her decision about the same, but once the society analyses these scenarios in terms of gender, we know what happens. Yeah, so the scenarios are:
1) Career Choice
2) Moving into a new city
3) Join any social event post 8 pm

Clearly, men have a cake walk to do here, and a women has to fight a battle against the society.

This is where the need to spread the awareness comes. Why is it so hard to give women her right? Why is society making her sex a constraint for her? Why?

The reason I mentioned the word “sex” and not “gender” as a constraint is why the era needs to embrace Gender Equity and not just the equality.

Sex, as we know is the biological aspect of being a male or a female. But when it comes to gender, it comes with the array of sex, social, psychological, behavioral aspect of a person. It is about taking person as a whole. For example, a male is supposed to be the brave one, the macho one, if he is emotional, his life is a mess. Similarly, a women is supposed to be nurturing, kind, gentle. If she gives the importance to her career over her family, she is no less than a monster! PITY.
Who has set these gender roles?

It is shocking to know that the number of male child being physically abused is more than that of women being raped. And as they grow up, they wear the mask of being the strong ones, thus never letting that trauma to drift into the space to the outside world.
Similarly women are often told you are not supposed to be too friendly, too strong, or too practical!

Why is it hard to understand it is okay for a guy to be shy or emotional and it is okay for a girl to ride a bike?
Thus embracing the emotions and qualities irrespective of sex is Gender Equity.
This is the way to end the gender war and celebrate the difference and for the greater good appreciate the similarities.

So women are simply asking you to give her rights irrespective of her gender.

It was 8th of March, 2017, I along with my friends went to attend a seminar on women’s day. Hurtful it was to listen to the chairperson in one seminar telling, it’s okay for a man to give ” halki maar” (light beating) to the woman and another chairperson stating that a girl should take into consideration the personal life before making any career choice like moving into a new city, in another seminar.

I was supposed to leave the city to start my career and I asked her if she is trying to make me feel guilty as I am going to leave. Will she say same thing to a guy?
The answer is NO!

Most people often hamper the cause of equal rights for women by mocking her to do things which she is not comfortable to do, thus comes the role of gender equity. That’s why gender equity is more important than ever, as the spectrum of the level of equality is to be understood, and the difference is to be celebrated.

So it is all about doing what is right, irrespective of the gender roles. The world will adjust!

Shuja Ashraf

Shuja Ashraf

A girl living her dreams. Content Writer in Wipro.
Assistant and Secretary Administration at Kashmir Youth Arts Initiative ( KYAI )
MBA, The Business School, University of Kashmir

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