Never call me the ‘man of the family’ because I’m not.

Captivated by their beauty, baffled, everyone would take a moment to gaze at their alluring face while they tread to school every day carrying hefty bags on their shoulders. Ebony tresses shaped the girls’ angelic faces, sun shone harshly upon them but failed to discolour the glossy skin. Bright, deep-set eyes held deep hurtful secrets.

However, they were privileged unlike the dead sisters, who were not blessed with the beauty that pleases every eye. First cry and a beating heart weren’t enough for the family to not soak their hands in innocent blood. Neither, cries of the mother could melt the cold hearts. Alas! Deprived girls of a negligent world. The deed wasn’t of atrocity but an act of wisdom; raising daughters is like watering neighbor’s plant anyway. In this world where pretty sells, average is unfortunate, granting life on basis of looks is a righteous act.

The fortunate ones who survived, were never fortunate enough to qualify for humans. Born with pretty faces, they were expected to be born with big hearts; bigger than their fists, big enough to accommodate everything that a man’s thoughtfulness had to offer them. They were expected to not complain, desire or question but forget, forgive and accept. They were asked to crush their souls for men to accommodate. They were asked to behave in a proposed manner to maintain the decorum of a man’s world; for their soul purpose was to beautify the ugly otherwise.

Lesser people could empathize, besides the girls couldn’t adapt themselves to rare chivalry. Meanwhile, they will be coached to be the trophy wives who’d grow up as valuable presents to their husbands. An object of affection – who take up jobs or employ, nurture and teach, become a dishwasher and sandwich maker, every day to serve others.

Not a matter of concern anymore, thanks to the new era where women are initiating individual identities but still as “acquisitions’’of men.

Mothers of brave and righteous men are recognized for being associated with their sons but not for being the glorious individuals that they are. Even official Government forms require a female to mention daughter of/ wife of in details which, again, is another way of reinforcing the idea that women belong in some way to men.

Representation of us as objects is evident and sadly has become our normal which gets fallacious when we are demeaned to instruments of sexual pleasure. Rise of plastic face, labiaplasty and breast implants is a consequence of this. Even the girls of the generation have taken to this psychology and try hard to fit in the idea of “bombshells”. Lustful eyes upon the butt and breasts isn’t the kind of acknowledgement females live for.

Here is a reference to an argument that took place on Wagah Border at the time of rehabilitation where men had a tussle with the other side accusing them of sending “old and unfit women who are no longer of use’’. Ones who returned home weren’t accepted by the families, not even by brothers. Mothers acted like they’ve never known their daughters which made them perceive the loss of their dignity, as if they eloped.

When a man is in love, the role of the female is to simply be his subject of interest. A woman who has ample admirers is worth chasing, her attention is the reward after succeeding the tough battle. The desired woman is good-looking, well behaved, sober and most important of all ‘pure’, who’d give up her celibacy for her husband which symbolizes his authority over her body and mind. This is the society which continues to judge character of a femme on the status of her hymen, where the concept of virginity is restricted just to them.

A daughter is considered the honor of the family, honor which goes away with her virginity. This phrase which shuts the mouth of a girl after being used by familiar or strange monsters. She’s portrayed as an ostentatious piece when her voice is suppressed to maintain the stature and worth.

Lack of reproductive rights of women adds to the barriers they face after being sexually abused, there are so many countries where abortion isn’t legal. Females must have the right to take charge of their bodies which will prevent unsafe abortions and obsolete traditional practices.

Woman is a gender in itself and not any extension of the men. Both are distinct but as humans are obliged to have the share of equal rights and opportunities. We have innumerable capability to do what the men can and cannot. The time I do what I’m capable of, never call me the ‘Man of the family’ because I’m not.

Omar Hafiz

Omar Hafiz

Omar hafiz, a well known development practitioner working on multiple (national & international) social projects across India, is the person responsible to conceptualize and design the execution of this global initiative, 'Stears 2017'. in coordination with hundreds of volunteers across 45 countries, he shoulders the proper functioning of this initiative.

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